Wow, the 2nd April

and I am still working! and more to the point, enjoying it, despite being rarely in the Frame shop. It appears that this time of year is a slow part of the year for framing so even though they are swamp with work, they don't have the hours to have more than 1 framer at a time on duty. Most days there isn't a framer in the shop until 11 which is the time the head framer arrives. So if you need a frame, goes in the pm, as that is when the framer is most likely to be in.

This "hours" available in retail still baffles me. The same thing happens in all stores from what I can gather. Basically it means if you have slack sales, the staff hours are cut and it varies each week. So if last week was a slow one, this week the hours will be cut so if the shop gets mobbed, there are not any staff available, so staff are called in at late notice ( so might not be available) and the following week there might be more hours because Wednesday was mobbed. And so the merry go round goes on and on.

So if you walk into a shop and there are no staff, it means sales are slack and you are not going to get serve quickly and if like me, that happens to you too many times, (like 3 times in row) you are not going to go back. Too many customers like me and those hours get cut even more, ending up with even more lost customers. Weird way to manage if you ask me but it seems be prevalent in all retail shops.

Anyway all this working is playing havoc with my creative time. I had gotten myself into a routine when I would settle into working in the afternoons and evenings (unless I was feeling miserable which was too often). Now I have to fit it in with the housework and an ever changing timetable. No two weeks are the same at work, which is another of the mysteries of retail. Why can't they do a regular schedule? Each week I see the person responsible for the rota, pulling her hair out putting people, here there and everywhere. Once the rota is posted (like today for next week), you see people trading times as they have already made arrangements for that day. How are people meant to organise their lives if they don't know what hours they are working from week to week. Of course, it comes back to the available 'hours' again.

So basically my creative time is screwed up which means I am not doing very much creative stuff but I am getting there. Last night, despite being really tired, I pushed myself to finish off the curtains I was making. Of course, being a complete novice at this task. it is taking me way too long.

So what else is happening in my life apart from work. Not much to be honest. Alan and Emily are at their respective colleges. Emily appears to be doing well and should pass her finals comfortably. Hopefully we will go and visit her either this weekend or next (depends on my work schedule which is unknown at this moment in time) All too soon she will have completed her first year and then she will moving into an apartment in August.

Alan? Alan, well, lets just say, its in the air at the moment. There may well be decision made re his future in the coming months but whatever they are, he will cope with it. We don't know how his future is panning out but he isn't freaking out about it, so we aren't because only Alan knows what goes on in that head of his. Basically he knows the score as far as we are concerned and only he can decide how that turns out.

Elisabeth is still in San Marcos and somehow, that town has sucked whatever life she had in her, out of her. She seems to have lost that driving force that was with her in the beginning and is settling for what she has which is not the girl we knew and loved. However, she is making the decisions now and its her life. Her father and I have given up on giving any advice because any we give, is just toss to the side. Now I know she will read this and blow hot with rage, saying we don't understand and she will be right, we don't understand. She is almost 23 now, so despite our misgivings about what appears to be a surrender to a life she hates, she is the one who is in charge of her life.

I am sure all our parents when through exactly the same things, in fact, I know my Mum and Dad still worry like mad about all their girls but that is the other part of parenting, letting go and letting the child make the mistakes. Its hard to watch and its hard not to despair but most of the time, it works out because the ground work was done in childhood.

So we are learning to let go and watch from the sidelines, just as we did when they first went to school but now its the real deal. It so bloody hard!!!

Well, that was unexpected

in that I didn't expect to it happened. What? you may ask.

I went for my gynaecological visit yesterday and I knew from the Internet forums (hystersisters which I found when I had my ablation) what to expect. The Doc would recommend a uterine biopsy and a sonogram however I naively thought I would have the biopsy at another time. It seems that a lot of sisters have been told to take several Advil or other painkillers before the procedure as it can be quite painful. So understandably I was a bit nervous of the upcoming procedure. Yes it was painful but not so I was fainting or anything, as others have discribed and it was only slightly longer than having a pap done. Yesterday afternoon I had some slight cramping and bleeding but nothing out of the ordinary to be honest. I will get the results in 3 wks when I have the sonargram and see the Doctor again. I suspect my ovaries have just come back to life for a few months and that I am not in fact over the menopause but at least these tests will confirm that.

On Tuesday night we had our first call from Emily where she was obviously feeling overwhelmed and a little homesick. I must have calmed her down a bit because by the time she spoke to her Dad, he wasn't even aware of the fact she had been crying.

Happy Birthday Alan

Today is my son's 20th Birthday. I love him to bits but he has been causing me grief that only a son can managed since before he was born! I was in and out of hospital with false labour pains 4 times before he surfed into the world 2 wks early. I mean surfed out as he came out so fast, the midwife had to do a running catch to stop him from dropping to the ground!

I am sitting here

desperately trying not to fall asleep. Last night was the worst night's sleep I have had since not having any sleeping pills. I spend a good part of the night pretending I was asleep in the hope I would actually sleep. However its not that bad yet, as to date I have only had 2 really restless sleepless nights (the night before was the other), so I am hoping that as long as I keep myself busy today, by the time we go to bed I will sleep just from exhaustion.

The one thing I have noticed in the past week, is that if I don't bead, I am less sleepy. So obviously being creative during the day is exactly what my brain is craving for.

With that end in mind, I began the process of reclaiming the upstairs from the hands of Alan. Since he came home from college at the end of May, he has steadily spread his mess unchecked to almost all the rooms. It has gotten to the stage were his sister, Emily, myself and Gordon are too uncomfortable to even go up there! Yesterday, that began to change as I moved his stuff out of the large spacious room he has, to the much smaller bedroom. It felt so good. To be fair to Alan, he was ok about me moving his stuff from the room and he can be tidy, even vacuuming all of upstairs in the first weeks he came home, it just most of the time he isn't tidy, at home at least.

So what is happening to the room I have just vacated, well its going to become my studio. To be honest I have been eyeing it up for just that purpose since the day we moved in. It will have a spare bed in it for Elisabeth when she comes to stay but for the most part it will be my studio, all 12' x12' approx of it (actually it probably larger but I haven't measured it).

Apparently Alan told Emily that to make sure he doesn't come home next summer and she turned around to him, saying, " well, Mum doesn't want you to come back next summer, anyway." I don't think I would have said it as brutally as that as I enjoy the company of the kids but I would be laying down the law about being tidy more next summer!

it is obviously going to be long long day

as Alan is still sulking over the puppy incident. He has barely spoken a dozen words since Saturday afternoon. Apparently we are stealing from him as the shelter wouldn't give his money back. Most of yesterday he was actually at work but today he is at home, ensconced in the Bunk room with his laptop. I must admit I am near to bursting with his behaviour. Its even crossed my mind that if are we so hateful to live with, he may as well leave home. Not that he would get far as he has no money.

It really stinks this situation and I hate to admit it but I could be just as bad when I was younger. It would fester and fester until suddenly it no longer existed. No even sure why it would suddenly lift but it was definitely like a heavy weight off my shoulder.

Out of all my kids, he is the one who worries me most

As Alan was out of the house most of yesterday, Gordon had a good Father's day. The day before our eldest had given him so chocolates and a card despite having so little money. Then our youngest, Emily, gave him a selection of Asian candies and coffee from the local Chinese Supermarket.

Well better get on with the day. I started off well (before 7am) with a longer walk today (65 mins). I have stripped the bed, put the sheets in the washer and now I am going to do my bedroom.

Hopefully the day will end up better than is at the moment.

I am quietly steaming at the moment

as a lovely day has been ruined the moment we stepped back into the house.



We have been down to see our eldest daughter in San Marcos so she could sign the forms for the loan we are co signing with her. She is just ending her degree in Biology and will be starting her Masters later this year but in the meantime she doesn't have a job. She just doesn't have the time at the moment with her internship with the fisheries dept and summer school to finish her degree. Despite the fact it has an unsettling few weeks for her as she faced the reality of our financial support ending on the 1st of August, she seems so much happier with her life these past few months, than she has for a long time.



So we had a lovely lunch at the Riverside bar and then went to see where she will be living for at least the next year. To be honest the place she is in at the moment is a dump. Her and her friend ended up with a room-mate from hell for the past year, as far as I can tell. Then the street she is living on, is just a street of students so no-one cares what it looks like. There is litter comprising of kegs, beer cans and a variety of furniture all around, it really is disgusting to be honest, no wonder the people of San Marcos aren't keen on Students! Fortunately, the place where she is going next is in a neighbourhood of working people who have pride in their surroundings. We didn't actually go into Elisabeth's apartment because the room-mate from hell, had been his usual inconsiderate self.



Anyway back to the beginning of this post, Alan was acting strangely and no wonder. As his girlfriend stood nervously on the stairwell, he introduced us to his 6 month old puppy he had purchased from Petsmart. This is despite the fact, we already have dog and 2 cats. Despite the fact we have said for a considerable while, no more pets. Most importantly of all, DESPITE the fact he will be returning to San Antonio in August to University housing, thus no PETS ALLOWED!



I really don't know what to do with him! He is failing badly at college, has no idea of what he really wants to do in life and now he thinks we will simply fall in love with another dog! He is out at the moment, taking his girlfriend home. However, as he left I asked what he was going to do with the puppy. "Nothing" "Well your Dad wants you return it to the shop". "Well, then he can return I'm not" I said " Well he will then".

So, Gordon is walking Angus, no doubt getting angier and angier Then no doubt it will become explosive and we will be going around avoiding Alan, vice versa. I am not looking forward to it but I agree with Gordon on this issue.

WHY WHY WHY?

postscript

We have taken the puppy back, leaving us with an over riding sense of guilt and a very unhappy Alan. Not only that, they refused to pay back the adoption fee of $125, no doubt hoping we would change our minds. However, we had to show Alan we can't take on every animal he decides to bring home. Skara was his last pet in distress and we wouldn't be without her now which is exactly what would have happened this time if we didn't take the puppy straight back.

MOOD =

We are dodging the bullets

at home, at the moment.

Yesterday had been a great day. In the afternoon, we went to BBQ being held for Emily's friend who graduated on Friday and will be attending UNT with her. They have been friends since 6th grade and her family see Emily almost like another daughter. I must admit I am very pleased that Brooke has decided to attend the same university as Emily as she has grown up a lot in the past 18 months, just like Emily.

In the evening, we went to the Morrissey Concert at the Backyard venue at Beecaves. It was brilliant and amazingly the rain held off for the whole night. The ironic thing is that when the Smiths were at their height in the mid 80's I hated Morrissey so much I had to switch the TV off. It wasn't the music I disliked but him. I have been like that as a child, if there is a performer I cannot physically like I have shield my eyes or switch off the TV. Mick Jagger and Tom Jones were other people I really couldn't stand when I was younger.

Anyway we got home about 11.45pm and we thought it was odd that Kelsey's car (Emily's other best friend) was parked outside our house, as we were under the impression they were going to another graduation party, so they must have gotten home early. No, Alan was home but not the girls and he didn't know who had taken them to the party. Then it was mentioned that a boy around the corner had a party going on. No, Emily wouldn't go there because of the history between us, not a happy history.

Anyway we settled to watch a tivo'd episode of "my name is earl" and just as it was finishing Emily and Kelsey came in it. They quickly dived upstairs and I must admit, both of them were looking decidedly tired and bleary eyed. No surprise there, as they had both been celebrating graduation since Friday night which included a lock down at school where they are locked into the school from 11pm -6am in the morning, doing various 'fun' activities.

So we didn't really pay attention to them but Alan did, quickly dashing down to inform us that both of them were decidedly drunk. To be honest I was furious, not because they were drunk necessarily as all teenagers step over the line given the chance but the fact it was the graduate's parents who had served them drinks when it quite clearly against the law. I went upstairs and checked on them, got the story from them and then discuss it with Gordon.

Your immediate response is to call the police but then Emily would be cited for drinking underage and more than likely the real people in trouble, the parents would deny all wrong doing. So we figured it would be best leave it as be, give Emily a huge lecture the following morning and Kelsey is effectively banned from staying over night, as this isn't the first time we have heard she had gotten drunk in recent weeks (we are glad she is going to different uni as she is turning into a bit of a wild child).

Alan, unfortunately, has long history with this graduate and his family, isn't so forgiving and once we were off to bed, called the police. Sure enough he managed to tell the police without Emily being involved but in the end his call solved nothing as they couldn't get any evidence that the parents were serving alcohol to minors despite the fact the house was full of drunk teenagers.

Now Alan is angry. Angry at Emily for being so stupid. Angry because the parents weren't punished. Angry with Emily for being friends with someone he hates with reason. And finally angry that 3 yrs ago he was punished whilst the same graduate from last night didn't get punished, in fact treated as a victim.

Alan made it clear in no uncertain terms of what he thought of Emily and what he perceives of her betrayal in being friendly with this boy. Alan is very much like me sometimes, so I know he will be brewing on this for a least another day before he calms down. As for Emily, she has been duly chastised and left with no doubt of what we think of her behaviour. Until then we will be dodging the bullets.

Today was the annual boob sqeezing

event at the local radiological center in Round Rock. In addition to being pushed and squeezed the way no boob should be, I had my first bone scan, signs that old age is knocking at the door if I don't watch it. I suppose I should be grateful as if I was in the UK, with no family history of breast cancer, I wouldn't have even had a mammogram yet.

However, it seems the more tests the better over here, as I have good insurance and that is the big BUT. Since I have move over here I have had an MRI of my head and my back, xrays of my back, colonscopy, a couple of ultrasounds of my uterus, 5 mammograms, a bone density scan and too many blood tests to count plus other things I am sure.

My next visit to my gynaecologist will be to discuss an vaginal vault repair I need for rectocele caused in no small part by having 1 baby of 8lbs 12oz and the last being 10lbs 3ozs, getting stuck by the shoulders in the process. I must admit I have known I had a problem for years but the thought of an operation just wasn't a happy thought but recently the problem has become just too bad to ignore.

Well, my life seems to have taken over by the kids or should I say the house has been taken over by Alan. He doesn't do much but somehow his presence is everywhere. At the moment I am on the PC because that way I can escape from the surround sound which is currently blasting out at the moment, as he and his girlfriend watch some horror dvd. At night, in our bedroom, you hear his voice booming as he talks to his girlfriend on the phone for 2 hours (his room is above ours). It not that he is shouting, far from it but his voice is deep and resonance much further than a normal voice for some reason.

Poor Elisabeth is having a tough week. She had a lot to cheer about last Friday as she has been accepted officially for the masters program she applied for. However, since then her truck (an 1995 S10) has collapse on her, probably needing a new water pump and then yesterday, she switch on her PC and nothing! Even worse than that, this week she is 22 so we have finally said, no more car insurance and come August, she is on her own financially. I must admit I feel really really bad about that and worry how she is going to cope but then other 22 yrs do. However, that doesn't stop me worrying. At least she is guarantee a TA job which will pay her fees for the course but then she needs to find loans for living expenses. Somehow I think she will need to cut back on some things she is going to find hard to do.

Emily had her rehearsal for the graduation today, another one tomorrow and then the real deal on Friday.

So tomorrow I need to buy a small graduation gift (about $20) and a present for Elisabeth for her birthday on Saturday. I know what I am getting (she has already had some it when she gave down last week) but I can't say at the moment as she does read this blog sometimes. Its not a traditional gift, she might be insulted by it but she needs it, so hopefully she will be happy.

Mother"s day

just a couple of pics of the weekend.

Alan arrived home with all his stuff yesterday and Elisabeth is home for the night at least, so we are five some again. I love having all the family around for a few days at a time.

Today is Mother's day in the US (Mothers day in the UK is the 4th Sunday of Lent.) Emily bought me a huge bouquet of Flowers and the most delicious chocolate covered strawberries.

Elisabeth came home this afternoon and gave me a selection of stamps based on Mexican cravings. She really must be in tune with my artist endeavours at the moment as unbeknown her I have been reading about and drawing Mexican symbols for a few weeks now.

Alan forgot it was Mother's day until his girlfriend reminded him yesterday but by then it was too late as he was on his way to his best friend Anna's prom. He may sound more Texan than Scottish these day but he will never give up being proud of his roots.

dressed up for the prom