The last couple of days I have been in right Funk

and I think there are several reasons.

The first is my body is acting up. It started last week with my nipples becoming really sore, then very hard and my breasts swelling, if I did know better I would have said I was breast feeding! Then on Monday I began to have those cramps we women are so prone to which was somewhat of a surprise as I have been told that I am pass menopause. Even more surprising was having some spotting on Tuesday which turn into a slight flow on Wednesday. Needless to say, I was straight onto the phone on Wednesday for an appointment with the gynaecologist but the earliest I could one is next Thursday. It feels like when I had adenomyosis but if I am post menopausal then that should have disappeared. Anyway, no doubt I am in for a string of tests and probably end up with a hysterectomy. I wish I had taken up that offer last time rather than the ablation but it seemed so radical then and I was so obviously perimenopausal at the time. Blah!

The 2nd is job searching! I am at it again and again it fills me with despair. I decided to look at Craig's list and sure enough there are jobs there I that I might be interested in. I actually applied for one at a pre-school locally and they called back immediately. I had interview arranged for 2pm the next day. I duly arrived, only to find the person who was interviewing me had popped out to do some personal chores! I found this out between bits of conversation with the lady I was talking to as she was on the phone, setting up her DSL connection. (I think she was meant to manning reception but it was hard to tell, tic). Anyway in between conversation with her sales rep on the phone, she managed to say she would speak to me about the job and to fill out the application form. I hate that, why fill in an application form when you have send them a resume!

She eventually finished with her dsl connection (by which time I knew her life story) and spoke to me briefly. She then show me the class where I might be assisting but as the kids were just coming to the end of nap time, I thought it wasn't the best time to introduce a stranger to them. So I arranged to return the next morning when they would be more lively.

I returned at 10am yesterday and was briefly spoken to by the person who was meant to interview me the previous day, then I was shown into the room which was now a different class as they were in the midst of rearranging the kids. The kids were great but it was a small class so I was lucky. After half an hour, the other lady came to me and I spoke to again briefly. Mainly I wanted to know what the salary was .......$7.50 an hour....less than my youngest daughter (17) earned all summer and considerably less than Alan(19) is currently earning! I could understand it if it was some local pre-school nursery but its a national company (Children's courtyard)!

Anyway, this morning I am off to a job fair in Austin with my resumes, so something may turn up but I am not too hopeful to be honest. Am I am being too picky wanting to be paid a decent wage, certainly better than my youngest daughter and hopefully more than my Son but it seems I am whistling in the wind in that regard.

The 3rd reason I am in funk is because this week the kids go back to college. On Sunday, my youngest is moving 250 miles north to Denton, to begin her degree in Photography (hopefully). I think I will miss Emily much more than when the other 2 left because over the last year or so, we have become much closer. I definitely know her more than when she was little when she was lost between the worlds of her brother and sister. I am very confident she will do fine at university as she an inner confident in herself and her abilities, I can only envy. If you met her on first take, you would probably think she is shy (which she is in certain ways) but after than initial take, you soon realise this girl has an inner drive that will get her to places. So I will miss her tremendously and probably have a good cry as we drive home to Austin on Sunday but I am sure she is destined to succeed in life.

I have been in such a funk, that I haven't even been reading the blogs or if I do read them, I can barely skim over them, much less comment on them. I haven't touch my beading this week and nothing can seem to interest me. Hopefully this is passing and I will be back to normal once Monday comes along and new era in our lives (Gordon and I) comes about. It will be weird not having any kids in the house!