Pretty Quiet Weekend

until last night and Alan basically said he didn't want to return to school.

Although he had seemed to be fine over the weekend, completing day 2 and 3 of his training at his new job, he had obviously been brooding over his problems with school. So we agreed that he could remain away from school until he had spoken to his therapist. Fortunately, he has a very good relationship with his therapist and she really has been a godsend since he started going to her, just before he went to Europe for 8 months, at the end of 2003.

School has never been a happy experience for Alan, apart from the first couple of years at the small village school he attended, from primary 1-3(USA Kintergarten -grade 2). In primary 4 we moved from a small village to a small town. He has never been the same since and that is where the bullying began. Now it seems he has been the victim of bullying again but in a more insidious way, spreading of rumors,physical jabs to his private parts by the lesbian girlfriend of one his bisexual friends and now the silent treatment. Given that the last time he admitted to be bullied, which just led to be him being bullied even more, I am not surprised he hasn't said anything. I don't think he even thought it was bullying to be honest.

It doesn't help that he suffers from ADD plus a reading disability and although he has never received any special ed, he struggles to concentrate. Sometimes that means he shuts people out if he needs to really concentrate on something. In his Scottish primary school, before he was diagnosed with ADD, he managed to persuade a teacher to put his desk next to her, so he wouldn't be distracted by the other pupils. Like most kids with ADD, he has higher than average IQ, testing in the top 15% quartile, so although his school marks aren't brilliant, he is understanding and taking in a lot more than most teachers realise. Actually, that is not true, his teachers know he's good but fail to understand why he works so poorly. Most of the time, he falls to sleep with boredom, something I can relate to as I did the same.

Today I spoke to his school counselor and school social worker (to be honest, didn't know they even had one). Whilst it was helpful and I hope we manage to get him back to school, I think the community college option looks like the way forward. Instead of completing his high school diploma (he is so close, only 4.5 credits)he does the GED and then starts do college credits at Austin Community College. That way although he doesn't have a high school diploma, he will be able to apply to a 4 yr course based on his community college credits and GPA. He already has 2 college credits for the summer courses he did.

It times like this I miss the UK system. There at 16, he could have opted out of High school and gone on to 6th form college or community college to do his Highers (in England they are called A level). He could even of tried his hand at working and discovering he wanted more, going onto evening classes to do his highers and then university. Here at 16, you have nothing.

That is almost the route I took. When I was 16, I left school for the first time as my school didn't have a 6th form. Worked for a summer, decided I wanted to go back to school. As my previous school didn't do 'O' levels, I decided to go the 'O' level route and then 'A' levels. At 17, my Mum decided I had spend enough time at school and pulled me out( she was upset that I thought I might like to become a teacher):unno

By this time I had decided I wanted to go to Art School, so although, I was at work, in the evenings I did night classes and 18 months later got accepted to do my foundation course at Camberwell school of art. 4 yrs later I graduated with my BA(hons). To be honest, the UK in that respect is much more flexible.

Well, life with Alan will never be dull that is for sure. The emotional rollercoaster he has put us through in the last 5 yrs has been enough for a lifetime and no doubt, it will continue for a while yet.