that I don't have much to write about. After last weeks rant about Alan, things simmered down as they do in Families. Elisabeth called on Monday to say her truck had broken down and she was convinced it was Alan's fault. However, he rang her today and found out it was just a loose connection to the battery.
However, I have just come back from picking up Alan, who was very distressed. Alan has a long term problem with depression and this has led to many difficulties in the last few years. I wont go into it as it very personal and very understandable. However, as a mother of someone who is so obviously, constantly subject to the pull of the darker side of life, it is very frustrating and unenabling.
Its hard to tell if the move the US has made the situation with Alan worse or not, as he was almost 13 when we arrived. He had been subject to some bullying in school when we lived in Scotland. This was mainly due to the fact we had from an early age instilled in Alan, a need to control his anger. The other kids thought this was great, teasing him until he blew up. Obviously in Scotland, we lived in a very small community and everyone knew everyone else. Then we moved here and the middle school he went to, was even bigger than the High school he attended in Scotland. The High school, he first went to here, was almost 4 times the size of Kinross High.
Having spoken to him briefly, (the most he would allow), his biggest problem is not having any true friends over here, apart from Jaime, who is a girl he has known since 7th grade. She is deeply in love with him, unfortunately the feeling isn't mutual.
He feels life is just about sleeping, school, working and homework in that order. That is his life and given that the only way forward in the US, is by going to University, will be his life for several more years. Alan is a great listener and unfortunately, the only people who seem to talk to him as girls who are as equally as depressed as him. I know he worries that people think he is gay although he most definitely is not. In a way, if he was gay, he would almost be better for him, because then he wouldn't be pining for girls who seem unobtainable. Again unfortunately, the girls who appear to be interested in him (and often he is interested in them), are gay. Gayness amongst girls seems to be epidemic at the moment.
I must admit I had missed all the signs of this depression looming and I feel really guilty about it. He seemed to be enjoying working and earning money. Yesterday, he started a new job as a waiter with a big local chain and he gave no impression of being depressed.
To be honest, I am no help at all, having been depressed most of my life, the most self pitying person I know, is myself. Unfortunately, they say depression is an inherited trait, so our kids have had a double whammy, in that both sides suffer from it.
On a more upbeat note, I visited my friend's web Laurie Frick Artist and noticed she has posted pictures of her new paintings. I painted briefly with her one morning, early this month but didn't end up with anything other than some green/yellow dabs. I don't know how she manages to stay out in the sun for so long. Her paintings definitely have anther worldness about them, you would never imagine it was in her back garden. Please visit her site and let her know what you think.
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