I had moment of impulse (part 1)

which ruined my day and I still don't know how I feel about it.

It was the end of a unscheduled 24 hours.


Few things happened, none of them that big or out of the ordinary but combined made me edgy,angry and excited , not a good thing, in light of early afternoon.

Basically, my eldest daughter made me feel like a bad parent as we are finally terminating her car insurance payments paid by us, so she has to pay for her own insurance. She is beginning to panic because come August all our financial support will be gone and now she is wondering how she is going to live.

I am panicking because I know she has been walking with her head in the sand for so long that despite knowing that we would be stopping her allowance this year she hasn't done anything. It was going to be on her 22nd birthday but now August and she has still not figure out loans etc. Of course that makes me and Her Dad worry but we have say NO eventually, especially with Emily beginning University next year.


Anyway she managed to make me feel even more guilty with her 2nd call of the day, yesterday as she has got herself a job for the summer at IHOP. This will be on top her research work (not paid as per norm for intern work but will give her credits for her master apparently) and summer classes starting this week. ( which reminds me there must be fees to be paid but no notification from the University - why?)

That made me feel terrible as here am I, just slopping around the house and seemingly unable to get a job! Not that would make a difference because even if I had a job, we would be stopping her allowance, paying for a degree and 4 yrs of living expenses doesn't seem that bad. However, kids have a way of guilting you as most parents will agree. So that put me on edge and slightly angry but not explosively angry. Just normal parental frustration.

The other thing that had me on edge was the welfare of Angus, our dog. After being at the vets for a day and us waiting around for blood tests, it turns out he has a bacterial infection but nothing serious.

Excitement was caused by Emily, my youngest, nearly 18, getting her first car. Anxiety caused by the fact my little girl has a CAR! She was delighted of course, despite the fact she now owes us a considerable amount of money (well considerable to her). SHOCK because at the beginning of the day we hadn't planned on getting a car although I have been looking without success for a good month now. It seems decadent to have 5 cars amongst 5 people but what else are you do with no public transport and everyone going in different directions.

Disappointment at only losing 0.8lbs at weight watchers but pleased that I am now putting myself forward at weight watchers, giving anecdotal answers, knowing I should be more confident and outgoing to be more successful.
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