Blah!

At the moment I feel blah! I am currently uploading some of Emily's photography which she has made a special folder for, so these are approved by her. Later today, I am going to do my one and only cut of the grass this year, back and front lawn. I refuse to have anything to do with the garden normally because it too hot to garden here but today is somewhat cool, so I actually offered to cut the grass! If Gordon had to wait until the weekend, it would be doubly hard because it rained all of last weekend which, when grass gets any hint of water here, means it grows doubly fast

My son is a little upset at the moment as he has read a post about his friend in Fort Collins on her sister's my space website. He has been friendly with this girl since he first met her at a birthday party when they were both 4 and she had just moved into the village. Basically she was his first love so there will be always be that attachment. When we moved here in 2000, her family coincidently moved to Colorado, so their lives have almost mirrored each others. all their lives. Now it appears that she has moved out of her parents house and in with her, (as Alan described him) drug addled boyfriend.

The person I feel sorry for in this sorry mess is, their Mother. We use to know other quite well when all our kids swam for the local swim team in Kinross. Like Alan, Heather was a very good swimmer, so quite often we end up at the same swim meets. Then she (Heather's mother) had an operation for a lump on her neck which due to medical negligence, led onto a stroke. Although she has recovered well since then, she had a number of difficult years.

It was at this time I met her husband as he became very involved in the swim team plus the masters team which was attached to the club. To be honest, he came over as very nice guy who has a terrible speech impediment but which doesn't stop him from talking. In fact he can talk the horse's end off and still be going. From swim team meetings, he came across as a very determined person and not easily persuaded to see another person point of view, in fact quite often he would sulk if he didn't get his way. However, he was still a nice guy and for that matter, he probably is still a nice guy.

Anyway, it seem natural when we moved over within months of each other, we would keep in touch. All our kids were about the same age plus Alan and Heather adored each other. In 2002 we went to Fort Collins to visit them and to be honest, Gordon and I, were surprised at the amount of freedom these kids had. Both girls (they have a much younger brother) had the basement to themselves, it was a parent free zone. They were completely catered for, TVs, sound systems, fridge etc. They only thing they were missing as I far as I could see was a cooker. They even had their own doorway in and out of the house. The girls were then aged 14 and 15 and even then it was obvious they had no respect what so ever for their parents. Of course, Alan who was going through his own adolescent hell at the time, thought this was great and on his return, would constantly bring this up, how he should have the same freedoms, how we were terrible parents. Thank god we were stronger than Alan, or he would be back in the UK by now and on the streets, no doubt drugged out of his mind.

From the brief time we were there, it was obvious that their Mum was struggling to cope with these girls due to her disabilities caused by her stroke. She was desperately trying to instil some kind of discipline but completely undermined by her husband. He would indulge every whim of the kids and instead of disciplining them, give them money to get out of the way. To honest, it was probably the guilty absent father syndrome effect as he was spending the week days in California and was only home for the weekends due his employment. Now he’s a completely absent father as late last year he abandoned his family completely after splitting with their mother in 2004. (according to the older sister, I am sure there is more to the story than meets the eye, like all family dramas).

Anyway it was no surprise to find out that Alan's friend was completely out of control and so its no real surprise to hear the latest news. Her sister by the way is the total opposite, born again Christian. and about to married at the age of 19 to her boyfriend of 18 who is also a devout Christian. To be honest she comes across as a smug little so and so, who has abandoned any idea of a career for the life of a devoted wife. (of course this is my preception from her posts, so its a little unfair) From her my space page, there is very little love between the 2 of them (the sisters) and her friends comments (particularly her boyfriend‘s), seem to fuel the fire. All very unchristian!

So as I say from what I have seen and heard, the one person who really needs a shoulder to lead on, is Heather’s Mum because she is in the middle of this maelstrom caused by her daughters and now ex husband.

Now to another pet peeve of my mine at the moment. My space. There has been a lot of space taken up by the press on about this particular web space provider. Its true if you do a search on a particular name you will undoubtly come across that person if they have a space and its public. If you put in these key words ‘ Charlie, Glasgow, Highland” the third entry on google is Charlie. If I put in a few key words I find my youngest daughter. If you have all day and know what to search for, you will find in on the web. Basically, from the day your child uses a PC, know that they are being searched, mostly by accident but they will be found. So educate them from day one, of the pitfalls, not to arrange meet any one, even they are one of 1001 'friends' because no-one knows that many people!