Today I just feel just damm right inadequate.
I was reading my friend Laurie's blog/website yesterday to see if she had any news. On it she had a description of what she had been studying at the New York Studio School where she is studying for her MFA. The course she is doing is what I would have loved when I was a student, there is so much depth, substance and structure to it. Instead we were left to flounder and find our 'art' so most of my 3 yrs were spend wondering what the hell I was doing. The only bright spot was the Art History Dept which was a beacon of shining light.
I still read some art history but not as much as I should and visiting galleries...what are they? I am looking forward to the opening of new Blanton Building in Austin, Feb 06 and plan to visit on a regular basis. However, the Austin Museum of Art is a huge disappointment, as far as I am concern. It has some interesting shows sometimes. Its in this huge building but only the ground floor is available for exhibitions. I know that Houston and Dallas/Fort Worth have some great galleries to see but both are such long drives. If I thought Gordon was remotely interested, I would go along on a regular basis but the truth is, he isn't. Pflugerville to Houston is 310 mile or 6 hour round journey. Austin to Fort Worth is 366 miles or another 6 hour round trip if you are lucky. I really should visit the galleries in San Antonio as that is only a 156 mile round trip. Only !! 
Going see a show in Edinburgh which was a 52 mile round seemed a long way to go, when we were in Scotland. Now I do 91 mile round trip to do lunch with my daughter!
Must admit I thought that by this time in my life, I would be getting more into my art but that was back in Scotland. Just before we left I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Elisabeth was 15 and using public transport. Alan was almost 13 and likewise was beginning to get around using the buses. Emily was almost 11, so in a couple of years she would be going her independent way. I had no need to work as we were coping ok on Gordon's salary. Now, Alan has just become independent but Emily still needs me to get her around as there isn't any public tranport around here, none whatsoever!!. I also need to get a job which will no doubt be pretty low paying but needed with 2 kids in university next year.
Actually in that respect both of my elder kids make me feel inadequate. The other week Alan worked 37 hours and went to school. Admittedly that is too many hours and we have told him that. Last week was much better only 13 hours but this week it look like by the end of the weekend he will have done another 30 odd hours at least. Seems if he tells them one week he only wants to work a certain number of hours as he is still in school they forget the following week. The worse part was his wage slip last week was Zero. His basic pay is about $2.45 a hour but he gets tips on top of that. At the end of the day he has to enter any tips he received. Seems the tax on that was more than his 2 week salary!
My Daughter in San Marcos also works plus being an honors student. I really don't know how she does it. At the weekend she partied until 5.30 in the morning and was up for work by 7.30. No wonder she is tired and depressed. Not only is she working up to 14 hours at the weekend but she is doing 10 hours a week in the computer lab at college. Apparently its an easy job as she is there to assist other students but compare to Elisabeth and Alan, I am a lazy *****.
Hopefully she isn't doing that every weekend. I know she did that this weekend because it came straight from Alan's mouth. He was down there for supposedly the evening but stayed the night and then he phoned in sick for work that day I know he shouldn't have been drinking but he is 18 now, able to make up his own mind about such things.(I don't know for sure, I am only assuming) If I was 18, I would be doing the same, hell, I was out all the time at 18, drinking. But this the USA, land of the Free, land of being to shoot at 16, drive at 16 but you will go to hell if you drink before you are 21!
Unfortunately, out of Alan's mouth, (accidently)came a piece of information about Elisabeth which made Gordon and I feel totally inadequate as parents. It wasn't illegal, it wasn't drugs and it wasn't related to sex but its was about something we feel passionately about and wouldn't do. We have always made it clear that is our view and practise what we preached. Both Alan and Elisabeth, have done things we don't agree with, smoking, tatooing and piercing but this action was a real whammy to the face. I spoke to her about it last night but I really don't think she thought it was that wrong. Really don't know what to do about at the moment but I think she needs a lesson in hard knocks for it come home to her that we don't agreed with her on this issue.
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